If you are anything like me, you weren’t dreaming of deadlifting two plates as a seven-year-old girl.

I grew up like most little girls. I had my own pre-conceived notions about what being healthy meant. I had the fortune of growing up with parents who pressed hard on me in regard to staying on top of my health and fitness, even if they didn’t have the proper knowledge or execution to back it. Being healthy to my father meant being able to do sit-ups and push-ups. Being healthy to my mother meant avoiding fast food and other junk. She always had dinner ready and the menu always included a variety of vegetables and greens. But beyond that, neither of my parents are seasoned in the world of fitness or nutrition and have more of the old-school mentality of what it means to be in healthy and in shape. 

I remember being 10 years old and first experiencing the strengths and weaknesses of athletic development and the genetic lottery. Running the mile was horrific for me. After a short while, my legs felt like cinder blocks and my breathing was strained compared to other girls who could seemingly run forever, even without the training. The chin-ups were a different story. I remember being able to do 7-10 chin ups at a time, even without practice, which put me near the top of my class for both boys and girls. I was proud of that. I was always a great sprinter as well and was picked early in relay races because of it.

It wasn’t until high-school where I experimented with training outside of school. I began running to the park and back which was only about 1.5 miles round trip. My cardio did improve. I also started doing squats and lunges at home in order to tone my legs. But this was the extent of my training. It was fine, and I did improve, but I got to the point where I could do 200 lunges and I was starting to feel unchallenged by working out at home. My training routine felt monotonous, and I was entirely aware of the fact that training modalities existed that allowed me to goal-set more effectively and would keep me working with a purpose.

The Gym Discovery

Towards the end of high-school, I can’t say I was particularly mad at the way that I looked, but I was definitively feeling disenamoured with training. It was starting to feel like a chore, and I had nothing to work towards. Right around this time, I began dating my boyfriend (soon to be husband) and he was working at a local gym as a part-time personal trainer. I was given access a free membership to the gym and began coming in to watch classes (they taught everything from BJJ, to CrossFit, to Olympic-Weightlifting) and started experimenting on my own with weightlifting.

For someone who is used to jogging to the park and doing lunges and squats, a gym full of equipment was an overwhelming experience. I saw a lot of women in the gym doing big lifts (squat, bench, deadlift) and I admired a lot of things about it. But I had major reservations about that style of training. I am all for getting stronger and adding that a facet of increased performance, but doesn’t that make you big and bulky?

Culture and Strong Females

All this was before the days of Instagram. Nowadays, it is easy to see a million different girls with all manner of beautiful physiques. Many of them are generous enough to post their workout videos online. So, it is not hard to see that not every girl who lifts weights is 12% bodyfat and built like a tank (not that there is anything wrong with that).

Even though this is changing, our culture hasn’t historically been one to inculcate little girls with a desire to be stronger and healthier. At this time, the ideal physique was something like a Victoria secret model in the early 2000s. From my experience, muscle wasn’t always sought after for women, and the women where I grew up were primarily focused on getting/staying skinny above all things.  That was the cornerstone of fitness goals for a lot of girls and for many, remains that way to this day. 

Although there is nothing wrong with pursing a slimmer physique if that’s your goal, many times the execution is incorrect and sometimes results in poor lifestyle habits. Many women (and men) suffer unnecessarily in the pursuit of losing weight. This can result from things like eating disorders or body-image-dysmorphia.

I tried my best to manually do research and piece together facts related to females and weight-lifting and the effect on the female body. I wanted to be strong, but I would be lying if I told you my goal was to put on 25lbs and almost exclusively practice big barbell lifts. I was testing the waters of resistance training, slowly, and struggling with the idea that pushing myself beyond my comfort zone was somehow good for me.

The Meat and Potatoes; why getting big is a choice

My research led me to basic nutritional facts, such as use of macronutrients (carbs, protein, and fat), calorie deficits, calorie surpluses, etc. I began to realize that for people of any gender to get big, it takes more than swinging around a 12lb dumbbell. To avoid resistance-training altogether in avoidance of getting big is no different than not teaching your kid to drive because you don’t want him or her to be a NASCAR driver. There are a manner of different training modalities and nutrition plans that accommodate every manner of different physical physique. Getting big is a process, a process sought out by many, and it does not come easy. Gaining muscle entails a consistent calorie surplus and won’t just appear overnight. It is a slow and steady process that requires dedication, and also is adjustable as we go (my goals evolve with my training).

Why I stopped caring about the number on the scale, and started caring more about how I perform, look, and feel

It didn’t happen overnight, but I caught the bug for lifting-weights. At first, this was a byproduct of seeing the results on my body. It felt good to tone up, it felt good to have more curves, and it felt good to look and be stronger. But beyond that, part of what I fell in love with was the psychological effect of setting strength goals and working towards them, and how analogous this process can be with everyday life. 

After a while, my body began to change. I weighed more or less 100lbs when I started weightlifting. Fast forward 2 years, I am about 125lbs now. If you told me high-school self I would gain 25lbs, I would probably have been scared. I used to be very much aware of my weight and in my head, it was imperative that I should not stray far from that weight, since that was one of the rubrics my family used to measure health. After all, gaining weight is seldom ever regarded as a positive for women. But as my muscles began to develop, I started to realize my clothes were fitting better, I was feeling better too. Before long, I needed new clothes, and I was happy about that.

My legs felt strong, by back felt strong, and my knee pain that I struggled with all through high-school began to subside. This is when I realized that become healthier has nothing to do with the number on the scale. I felt the healthiest I had ever felt, and more important than that, I was completely engaged in a set of long-term goals related to my health and wellness. This is where I made the switch. Training was no longer a chore for me, but an opportunity to improve, impose my will, and stay consistent to a plan.

I think that many times, I have seen this same pattern play out in my personal life. Tasks become less of a chore when they are tied to a bigger picture. Of course, that means I have to be on the proper path to an end-goal, in order to make sure my steps are purposeful. It’s the “why” behind the work that makes getting it done possible and engaging.

Planning and consistency are two of the most important facets that have positively influenced my fitness journey and have translated over to my personal life as well. I look forward to writing more about that soon. In the meantime, thanks for reading. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to me 🙂

XOXO,

Lexi