The trip to where I was always going 

I will never forget the day I was driving back with my boyfriend (now husband) from camping alongside Alexander Springs in the Ocala National Forest (if you’ve never seen it you should look it up). It had been a few months since I had graduated nursing school. This would be a memorable trip for a few reasons; not the least of which was that I felt immensely comforted by nature as my life transitioned from one very comfortable stage to another completely foreign one.

Over the past few years, I hadn’t had a lot of time to reflect. I had been in nursing school trying my best to get good grades and balance whatever free time I had between working, going to the gym, and practicing photography whenever possible. I didn’t take a break between high-school and college. Being in school was sort of a comfort zone for me. Preparing for tests, studying skills, and balancing the curriculum was something I had grown accustomed to by this point of my life. It was hard at times, but it was also simple and familiar in the sense that I knew how to do it and I knew what was expected.

Once I graduated, I purposely hadn’t invested a lot of thought into what department within the hospital I would work in for my first experience as a Registered Nurse. Not because I didn’t care where I worked, or because I felt competent in all dimensions, but because as every nurse knows, you aren’t guaranteed a job right after graduating. Furthermore, cherry-picking the floor in which I would gain my initial experience seemed out of my control, since I lacked the experience that many hospitals demand of us right out of school.

I am a big believer in that all things happen for a reason. I know it sounds cliché, and I don’t mean it in that way where I’m using it to justify the fact that I’m going to make mistakes and it’s all going to be ok in the end. What I mean is that I believe the big things in life are orchestrated. I’ve always known on some internal level that if I put in the work on my end, make the most of the opportunities given to me, and do the right thing even when it’s the hardest thing, I will end up right where I am meant to be.

I remember a few weeks prior to camping seeing a commercial for a Pediatric Oncology department. Now if you had granted me a magic wand at the time and asked me what floor I wanted to work on, I would have probably said Labor and Delivery. However, something about watching this commercial stirred something inside of me that has no logical explanation. It is hard to say this without sounding crazy, but at the moment when I saw it, I knew that’s where I was going to work, not out of choice, but out of some kind of destiny.

It felt serendipitous to be driving home from camping; a time of self-reflection and restoration of my soul, and to receive a call at that moment letting me know that I had gotten my first job as a Registered Nurse. The offer was in the Pediatric Oncology/Hematology Unit of a hospital where my mom had worked as a nurse for over thirty years. I knew it all made sense. The commercial, the timing, the feeling I had. It made me feel small. But it also reminded me that I was right where I needed to be.

(Forced) Lessons in Perspective

Working in the unit for the last four years, I have had a lifetime’s share of joy, heartache, tears, happiness, and perspective bestowed upon me. For those of you who are not aware, the Pediatric Oncology unit represents the floor of the hospital that treats children who have cancer. I have had a front-row seat to young patients and their families react to what for most would be life’s stiffest test.

Almost everyone knows someone or has someone close to them who has had cancer. It takes on a different dimension when it’s a child. Even though cancer in any age or form is unacceptable, when it’s a child, it’s almost worse. It is as if everyone understands that the children played no part in their misfortune. In addition, they often times haven’t reached the intellectual epiphany that life throws terrible trials our way that are often times unexplainable. You can easily reason with an adult and tell them that life isn’t fair. It won’t be easy to stomach, but they would probably understand it. With a child, it’s almost like they don’t even have a paradigm for the fact that not all terrible things are self-authored.

Families also understand this, and that’s why I think it’s one of the hardest dimensions of the job. It is bad enough to see a child undergoing illness, but it is also indescribable to see family members attempt to process why something terrible would happen to their loved ones, especially the younger they are. We can likely all agree that no one deserves to go through something like that, and although it can be hard to witness, unawareness doesn’t stop bad things from happening, so I would never trade awareness for obliviousness.

One of the perspectives that comes from such a work environment is that you don’t take little things for granted as easily. Having your loved ones around you to share life with is a blessing; a blessing that none of us earn, but we often times take as a given.  Being alive is a blessing, but it is also an opportunity, and it comes with personal responsibility.

Influence is inevitable, direction is a choice

Whenever you see a sick child, your best hope is that they will make a full recovery whenever possible so that they can have the opportunity to experience a complete life as many of us do. Part of a long-term recovery can hinge on medical treatments, medications, and any form of corrective therapy to whatever illness they are experiencing. Although there are varying levels of severity in an illness, as well as to the duration of its effects, one thing is also inevitable. For a child to experience a long, healthy life, one of the biggest factors and predictors going forward will always be lifestyle habits.

I’m not sure how many children the average person is exposed to on a regular basis. I know in my family; I am among the youngest (second youngest) and I did not grow up around a lot of children. My siblings are close in age-proximity, and the same generation of my extended family is as well. One thing that working with kids constantly makes me reflect on is habits. Kids aren’t exactly born with a strong knowledge of what is good for them in the long-term, what is good for them short-term, and how counter-intuitive it may seem to do something that doesn’t feel great in the moment in accordance with some long-term greater good.

These types of habits are often inculcated by the parents, consciously or sub-consciously, which I think is not necessarily common knowledge for everyone. One of the things that is clear when you see people interact with their children is that children may listen to their parents, but more often than not they are mimicking their parents. Children process the world very carefully as they grow up. Every adult they come into contact with on a regular basis serves a function as forming part of their paradigm and will become an example of what is normal and acceptable on some level.

One of the things that makes me happy outside of work is when I see friends of mine who have kids go above and beyond to lead by example. This encompasses more than just health, but also work ethic, and willingness to go above and beyond, and remaining a lifelong learner. That said, health and wellness is still the main foundation to a long-healthy life. All of our lives are predicated on our health to some degree. Quality of life, especially in later adulthood, is built on choices we make when we are younger and before it’s too late. Working with kids makes me reflect on personal responsibility, and how big of a role we play as adults (willingly or unwillingly) into influencing their future health choices, and consequently their quality of life as they get older.

A question for those in the field

For those who work in the medical field, or aspire to work in the medical field, do you feel a sense of personal responsibility to ensure you are influencing others in a healthier direction?  Do you think medical professionals do a good job of instilling knowledge of healthy lifestyle choices unto others?

Feel free to reach out to me and let me know what your thoughts 🙂